At our May BUSINESS CONNECTIONS meeting, Kathleen Preston, retiring Psychology Professor from HSU, shared some interesting ideas about how differently men and women are perceived and how their communication styles differ-real and imaginary. Kathleen pulled this information from two authors, Nina Colwill and Debra Tannen:
SOME ASSUMPTIONS MADE ABOUT
WOMEN AND MEN:
- Beliefs still persist that men are more competent than women, so when in doubt, people usually defer to a man
- Competent women are not seen as likeable, especially unattractive women
- Women's successes and failures are often interpreted differently than men's:
– women's success: luck and effort; men's success: ability
– women's failure: lack of ability; men's failure: bad luck - Women tend to have less Power-both public and personal
- Status is partly determined by gender alone
- Women are often perceived as more "alike" each other-lumped together as though they look alike
- Women have fewer mentors in business than men
DIFFERENCES IN MEN'S AND WOMEN'S
COMMUNICATION STYLES:
The good news is no difference in abilities or achievement, and few other "personality" differences. There are differences in:
Non-verbal Communication:
– Men are different in "space, eye contact and touching
– Women pay more attention to non-verbal cues and they smile more, are very expressive, and polite.
Verbal Communicators:
– Men usually set the topic, interrupt more and hold the floor longer
– Women follow the set topic and tag on comments
Attitudes:
– Men are interested in power and control; they are more direct and confrontational
– Women are usually more task oriented; they are more indirect and manipulative
Strategies to Influence:
– Men "report-talk": more public, information giving, want to "fix-it," lecture, tell jokes, brag, look for chances to challenge
– Women "rapport-talk": more private, good at listening and understanding, offer support, look for similarities and look for chances to learn. Bragging is not OK
SUGGESTIONS TO WOMEN:
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Be alert to different styles
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Use the tools you have-flexibility, monitoring, caring, cooperation, ability to handle multiple tasks, etc.
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Consciously increase your personal power-decrease vulnerability and get support
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Know your worth and expect to get rewarded for your work
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Support other women.
©1993, Career Life Institute