How Your Values Help You Reach Your Goals

Do you  find yourself wondering about where you’re headed next? Do you wonder if the goals and values you set out to achieve are really all that important to you now? Are you thinking that it’s time to reevaluate?

Well, you’re probably right. Just as it’s important to go to your filing system periodically and throw out all the old papers that you’ve been holding onto, it’s equally important to take a little time to evaluate where you think you’re headed and throw out the ideas that no longer work.

Most of us think we know what we want, and what’s of most importance to us. We think we know how to get there, or at least what direction to head. But, unless we’ve taken the time to examine “under the hood”, then it’s difficult to understand what really drives us, let alone what causes us to make the choices that we’ve made over time.

Goals are important. But in truth, goals are simply a way to make us feel better, to convince us that we’ve done or are doing something of value. Goals are a result, a final vision of what we think we want.

Achieving any goal provides us with the end result, but not always with the experience that we have been seeking. Have you ever noticed how people who achieve their goals don’t always feel satisfaction? They are often more excited and engaged while they are pursing their goal, not after they’ve achieved it. And so they set and run after another goal.

What most of us are seeking when we set goals, is a particular experience that the goal itself represents to us. And usually, that experience could be expressed in many different ways, it doesn’t necessarily have to be through any one particular goal or outcome that we’ve set.

This is one of the main reasons it’s so important to discover your true values. Understanding your core values will give you a clearer idea of what it is you are trying to achieve. And once you understand that, you are in a better position to make choices that fulfill your values and bring you the satisfaction of the experience you were seeking in the first place.

New Years is traditionally a time to assess where you’ve been and set new goals for what you want to accomplish in the coming year.  When you take the time to understand what motivates you, you’ll not only set better goals that are in alignment with those values, you’ll have a better chance of staying on track with the goals you’ve set.

From now through New Years, I’ve put my 3-part Strategic Goal Planning book on sale through a special link at http://KatieDarden.com. Take advantage of this limited time offer today.

Lions and Tigers and Shiny Lures…

Oh my!

This month, each of my brilliant clients is feeling overwhelmed by the abundant distractions that keep showing up in their lives,  and the limited amount of time available to participate in each experience.  Too many choices and “Shiny Lures” of distraction seem to be everywhere causing acute experiences of pleasure and pain.   These powerful women want to have it all,  but occasionally get lost in the land of potent distraction.  Here are some ways you can address the anxiety surrounding an attractive diversion, get clear about your choices, and move forward on the path of your choosing.

I learned a great lesson from Arleen Boyd (better known as “Aloha” Arleen) when I interviewed her for my new book,  Life on Your Terms.  She said: “Just because you’re an entrepreneur doesn’t mean you’re living life on your terms. Recognize your purpose, and stay vigilant on that path. What I’ve found is that you can have it all—you just can’t DO it all at the same time.”

This is sage advice from a woman who started her own telecommunications company in the early 1980s and enjoyed the cutthroat business world and her CEO status until she realized that she was not running her business: it was running her.  My recent conversations with powerful women like Arleen nudged me to share some supportive ideas about living in a world filled with desirable distractions.  I am happy to report that today, Arleen brings her expertise to companies in the area of social media, building her clients’ internet presence to lift awareness, build brands, generate income, and keep customers. She strongly believes in surrounding herself with a network of peers who are also in positions of leadership. This network has allowed her to reach out and collaborate, and to stay grounded.

Supportive tips to keep in mind when you are snagged by a provocative shiny lure:

Experience and dream about the potential of the interesting, inviting and sexy opportunity – Part of the joy of being an entrepreneur is following your passion and making your own decisions. Another part is allowing yourself to dream and explore enticing opportunities.  You don’t have to say YES to every exciting offer.  Remember that you have only so many units of you to share with the world.

Allow 24 -48 hours or more to make decision on your investment or involvement – Have you ever been fully drawn into something immediately, only to find that a couple days later the thrill is gone? When I am read to chomp on a shiny object, I allow myself to get fired up and then let the idea / opportunity simmer. Immediate deadlines be damned! Let the idea sit and then revisit your energy in a day or two.

Explore the potential outcome of letting the shiny object pass you by – What is the worst case scenario if you do not pounce on the object of your immediate affection? Can you live with this potential outcome? Is this an experience you can enjoy a year from now?

Is the fear of loss motivating you to take action? – Often we can get caught up in a brilliantly crafted offer and lose our sense of balance out of the fear of missing out on an opportunity.  Marketers know how to push our buttons.  You know the drill: Only 2 spots left for blah blah blah… Don’t miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity. RIGHT.  When an offer resonates with you and is in your best interest, things will naturally fall into place. Do all you can to blow off fear-based involvement in ANY activity.

Does this shiny opportunity fit in with your vision for your business and your life? – This question will help you make solid decisions. If  you don’t have a vision for your business, it is time to begin creating one.  I’ve found the people I work with who have a plan or dream have a much easier time discerning which lures to chase.

For those of you who have a voracious appetite for all things shiny and new,  I feel for you.  Remember that you can have it all–You just can’t fully enjoy and experience it all at the same time.

 

Hutchison’s Law: “Any occurrence requiring undivided attention will be accompanied by a compelling distraction.” – Robert Bloch

 

 

By Shann Vander Leek

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Tame Your Pregnant Mind

Many of the clients I coach reach out to me because they are overwhelmed with runaway train schedules, insane mental chatter and too many commitments. We share our time uncovering what a new more peaceful reality can look like. You can tame your pregnant mind and reduce anxiety by using the following check list.

  • Prioritize.  Line up realistic actionable tasks for your dream project within a specific time frame.  Monitor you performance by creating a critical path time-line. Incremental progress toward your dream IS PROGRESS. Celebrate each victory, no matter how insignificant they feel at the time.

  • Get real. Perfectionism is an unhealthy expectation. Trying to be perfect all the time will paralyze you and halt your performance. Instead of setting your site on perfection, focus on excellence and get moving.

  • Be gentle with yourself. You must not berate yourself with negative self-talk and mental rubbish. Your best weapon to clobber the schoolyard bully in your head is positive self-talk.  What happens when you catch your evil twin being mean and nasty? What if you stopped those thoughts immediately upon their arrival?

  • Ask for help.  Seeking an ear or advice from others will help you move along your chosen path with much less stress and anxiety. Chances are there are droves of people who have been where you are and would be willing to help you.  How can I support you?

  • Play.  Make time for family and friends and do the activities you enjoy. You deserve to enjoy yourself. Create some regular play time and have a blast!  What kind of activities do you enjoy? When was the last time you enjoyed goofing around?

  • Check in with how you feel mentally and physically. Pay attention to when you feel your well is dry and find a way to fill up again.  A change of scenery or a few deep cleansing breaths may be all you need to keep your energy flowing.  I like to take mini breaks by stepping outside and soaking up the beauty of a natural setting.

  • Clobber your fear.  Most people on the planet are dealing with fear in all shapes and sizes. From the annoying little monsters under your bed, to the giant panther ready to pounce on you in the middle of the jungle, fear is something we create in our minds.  I have learned that when I take action on something daunting the fear falls away.  How do you address your fears?

I trust you will find some of these simple stress reducing ideas useful.  I would love to hear about how you tame your pregnant mind.  If you have an interest in getting some additional support for stress and anxiety, you are welcome to visit Anxiety Slayer .

By Shann Vander Leek

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Create More Peace in Your Life

The sankalpa I choose during Yoga Nidra meditation is “I am Peace” or “I am Peaceful.”  Sankalpa is defined as the resolve, determination and good intention that resonates and aligns sublimely with your essence.  Cultivating and sharing teachings to create a more peaceful love filled existence means everything to me as a woman, wife, mother, author and life coach.

7  Steps to Create More Peace in Your Life:

Positive Thinking

  • Attitude is everything … Why not start by choosing happiness?  The next time you are cranky, think about how funny you are all puckered up and pissed off. Angry? Get over it!

Breathe

  • Breathe deeply for 5 or 6 rounds of your breath every hour. When you pay attention to your breath your world will settle down.

Emotional Energy

  • Let go of any excess baggage and learn how to tap into your happy place. Everyone has a crappy day … Learn to let it go.  Say so long, bon voyage, later days to that big ugly sack of sticky darkness.

Self Love

  • Love yourself as you are – in this moment. You are an amazing critter. You matter.  Embrace your quirks, strengths, deficiencies and human kindness. There is nobody in the Universe quite like you!

Gratitude Power

  • Begin and end each day thinking about what you are thankful for. Consider writing letters of gratitude to the people you love in your life. Let them know you think they are all kinds of alright. Share your Love!

Meditation

  • Get centered by creating time for guided or silent meditation.  As little as two minutes counting your breath daily will make a difference. Do it … No excuses.

Knowing

  • Your life is more important than you know. You are the author of your life’s story. What kind of life do you want to create? Begin …

Consciously embrace each step and become aware of how much internal peace you can create.  Peace begins within you and radiates out to everyone you encounter.

“If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there’d be peace.”
– John Lennon

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