How Your Values Help You Reach Your Goals

Do you  find yourself wondering about where you’re headed next? Do you wonder if the goals and values you set out to achieve are really all that important to you now? Are you thinking that it’s time to reevaluate?

Well, you’re probably right. Just as it’s important to go to your filing system periodically and throw out all the old papers that you’ve been holding onto, it’s equally important to take a little time to evaluate where you think you’re headed and throw out the ideas that no longer work.

Most of us think we know what we want, and what’s of most importance to us. We think we know how to get there, or at least what direction to head. But, unless we’ve taken the time to examine “under the hood”, then it’s difficult to understand what really drives us, let alone what causes us to make the choices that we’ve made over time.

Goals are important. But in truth, goals are simply a way to make us feel better, to convince us that we’ve done or are doing something of value. Goals are a result, a final vision of what we think we want.

Achieving any goal provides us with the end result, but not always with the experience that we have been seeking. Have you ever noticed how people who achieve their goals don’t always feel satisfaction? They are often more excited and engaged while they are pursing their goal, not after they’ve achieved it. And so they set and run after another goal.

What most of us are seeking when we set goals, is a particular experience that the goal itself represents to us. And usually, that experience could be expressed in many different ways, it doesn’t necessarily have to be through any one particular goal or outcome that we’ve set.

This is one of the main reasons it’s so important to discover your true values. Understanding your core values will give you a clearer idea of what it is you are trying to achieve. And once you understand that, you are in a better position to make choices that fulfill your values and bring you the satisfaction of the experience you were seeking in the first place.

New Years is traditionally a time to assess where you’ve been and set new goals for what you want to accomplish in the coming year.  When you take the time to understand what motivates you, you’ll not only set better goals that are in alignment with those values, you’ll have a better chance of staying on track with the goals you’ve set.

From now through New Years, I’ve put my 3-part Strategic Goal Planning book on sale through a special link at http://KatieDarden.com. Take advantage of this limited time offer today.

Turning Fear Into Fuel

Back in April, I had the great pleasure of presenting at the TEDx conference at Carnegie Mellon University (CMU) in Pittsburgh. And, maybe the only thing that made it cooler was that I got to be there with a really good friend, Chris Guillebeau, who was also taking the stage.

I have mixed feelings about speaking. I’m terrified before I go on. But, once I find my groove, I absolutely love it. And, I plan to grow the public speaking aspect of my “renegade biz-plan” fairly aggressively over the next year and a half (conference bookers, call me, lol).

The theme of TEDxCMU was “fearless.”

That was it. Just one word. And, that was all the guidance we got. Create a compelling talk having something to do with being fearless and deliver it in precisely 18 minutes, not a second longer. Those are the rules.

The venue was a beautiful 500 person lecture hall. The late CMU professor, Randy Pausch, gave his famed Last Lecture entitled Achieving Your Childhood Dreams in the very same hall. That presentation blew me away (as it did millions of others). So I felt an even deeper sense of responsibility to those who’d shown up. I was the lead-off speaker, which meant I was done first, but I also had the job of warming up the audience, made up predominantly of 500 college students…at 9am…on a Sunday morning.

The video was just posted, so, for those who’ve been asking (mom, sis and the guy at the deli)…

The video was just posted, so, for those who’ve been asking (mom, sis and the guy at the deli)…

 

 

Whenever I look at footage of me speaking now, I tend to go immediately into critique mode and look at how much I did wrong or how many opportunities to connect I missed. At first I wondered if this was healthy, but my sense is that if you really want to become great at something, you’ve got to be willing to examine where you are now, deconstruct it, learn from it, then integrate what you’ve learned into future opportunities.

Interestingly, too, in the short months since I gave this talk, my ideas about fear and how to not only work with, but harness it have evolved in a number of ways. More to come on that.

Chris followed a bit later in the day. His talk was framed around the idea of fear and permission. And he shared some amazing stories that brought his ideas to life through his travels and volunteer work all over the world.

 

 

All in all, it was a wonderful day filled with many other great people and presenters. Special thanks to the volunteer team who organized the event and congrats to those who graduated! Be sure to check out the other sessions as they’re posted.

And, as always, I’d love to know your thoughts on the exploration of being fearless…

By Jonathan Fields, Awake @ the Wheel

View the Original article

Disciplines of Pleasure

I have always been fascinated with energy in many forms, particularly my own.  Personal energy can change in a moment or last for what seems to be forever.  Energy: like success and failure; that certain spark between people that is ignited; helplessness and hopelessness; joy and creativity; deep, soulful grief, as deep as the Pacific Ocean; the miracle of simultaneity, or magic.  But most of all, I am in awe of the profound effects that occur to our energy which are brought about be doing simple practices of earth, air, water, fire, meditation or prayer.

Take for example, how I felt about an hour ago, after returning home from a busy day working in an office.  I thought about an article I had agreed to submit to Access and for some reason, the spark or thrill just wasn’t there.  I had started several articles and they just died out.  I knew, however, that I wanted to write about energy, yet I had none.  My brain was at a standstill.  I began to feel fed-up and that maybe I really had nothing of value to say. 

So, I took my tape recorder into the bathroom, turned it on and filled my bathtub.  I got into the tub, laid back and knew that something would come, in time.  I even laughed to myself thinking that maybe I would only record running water!

One thing I knew for sure was that whenever I use any one of the practices of the eternal elements (earth, air, water, fire) my energy always turns around, eventually.  I breathe and let the tired, low self-esteem thoughts flood my mind.  I just hung out in my bath.

After a short time I felt a change and said aloud, “I really like telling stories about myself and perhaps someone else does also.” Voila!  My energy returned with zest.  And so I have a story:

I was living in the Sierra Nevada Mountains, just north of Truckee, at a hot springs resort (also the International Rebirthing Training Center).  I had several titles and I was not paid for the work I did.  But I loved living there.  In the morning, I awoke about 5 a.m. and in the evening went to bed at 2 a.m..

Simply said, I loved what I was living.  Never before have I so TOTALLY lived the fullness of my energy.  And, I was also fulfilling my heart’s desire in assisting my friend, Leonard Orr.

But I also had to make money.  I owned this gorgeous, black, “whupdeedo” Ford Aerostar van which I called my “Om NaMaHa Shivaya mobile.”  The monthly payments were $350.  So, once a month, for a week, I would go to San Francisco, set up Rebirthing sessions with former clients and give consultations.  Sometimes I gave a workshop or worked part-time for a friend who owned a large jewelry wholesale business in the garment district.  I also got to spend time with my beloved husband, Pravesh.

One month, I had an appointment at the University of San Francisco’s School of Dentistry, to talk to interns about how to help their patients to relax while having work done.  I left this meeting feeling very successful, professional, and excited about subsequent meetings we had planned.

As I approached the corner where I parked my van, I noticed it wasn’t there! I panicked! All of the sudden I read the sign, “Tow-away zone, 4p.m.-6p.m..”  Then I vaguely (groan) remembered seeing the sign when I parked, but took no notice (in too much of a hurry).  I called the police.  They told me my car had been impounded, was located across town and would cost $120 to get it out!  Instant terror!  Have you ever noticed how under siege your body feels when you are faced with a “we want your money now” edict?

I called Pravesh, who lived in Mill Valley, and asked to borrow the money with assurances I would repay him before I left, seven days later.  Also, would he take me to get my car?  He was furious.  He chewed me out for being so careless (as though I didn’t already do that to myself!).  I was even more devastated, both at being $120 in the hole and starting out in disharmony with Pravesh.

I sat down on the steps leading to the admissions area; I couldn’t stop the tears.  I was consumed in feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.  After my tears subsided, I took out a notepad and furiously wrote thoughts of doom and gloom.  Unbridled, they poured out.  The more I wrote, the more the feelings of being out of control began to subside.  Then, I noticed a change in my energy, in my thinking, I thought, “OK, I have to make money.  How will I do that?”

I had completed a cycle of energy, or “temporary insanity,” as my friend Leonard Orr calls such a state.  When a feeling is total, it cannot go down any deeper.  It can only touch the bottom and begin to move back up.  Such was the case with me.  Resurrection!

I wrote a list of all the ways I could make money in seven days: consultations and Rebirthing sessions; I would call a friend who sometimes needs computer entry. I then wrote down the names of people I liked and would feel comfortable calling to say that I was in town and would they like a session or consultation. 

In my appointment book I marked the days and wrote in the times that I wanted to see those potential clients.  I knew that to make things happen in the physical world, making time or space for those things to happen increases the likelihood that they will happen.  By the time Pravesh arrived, an hour later, I had my entire week planned.  I felt positive and more in control.  Every time I take action, the feeling of fear or being out of control disappears.

By Friday, on the fifth day, I had repaid Pravesh and had make my usual $500 for the week.  I had not realized that I had a “$500 a week barrier” and I was able to burst through that.  (By the way, many people have such a barrier.)

By the week’s end, I had a wonderful time with Pravesh and with my clients and friends and felt proud and secure that I had made the money that I needed to take care of myself.  After a week full of work I was brimming in energy.  I had made a special point to “do my practices” which relax me enough so that people will want to be around me.  And, I had a great time!

Leonard Orr coined another phrase: “The Disciplines of Pleasure,” which are very simple and available to most of us.  These are practices of Earth, Air, Water, and Fire, Meditation or prayer.  Since our bodies are made up of earth, air, water and fire (digestion; the electricity of an inspiring thought), it only makes sense that when any of those elements are out of balance or missing, we feel it in the forms of tiredness, wanting to give up, anger, indifference, confusion or even physical illness.

Whenever you feel or hear some say, “I’m bummed out,” the antidote is clear; withdraw from people and hang out with fire from a fireplace or even lit candles (at least five).  This is known as Fire Purification, because when you are in the presence of fire over a period of time, you’ll become more clear, creative, energetic, relaxed and joyful.  Greeting the sunrise or sunset in silence is another form.  Fire literally burns off the death urge (any life negating thinking or actions) and negativity.

The Earth Principle is also included in this remedy; being out in nature.  Other forms of this principle are playing or listening to percussion instruments, fasting, movement, exercise, massage, and having a career you enjoy.

Years ago I adopted this practice of taking time out from the world–a day of aloneness and silence.  At day’s end, I am usually bursting with energy, creativity, and deep, deep satisfaction for just being ordinary ME!  Taking time off, regularly, can literally save your life and this is, for most people, the most difficult activity: stopping.

Bathing twice daily is the Water Principle (preferably in a bathtub), in the morning to dissolve the deep sleep, dreams, items left over in your mind from the previous day and a wonderful way to emerge from the nightly womb-the bed.  Bathing before your evening meal washes off the psychic energy that we all collect during the day and allows moments to stop and make the transition into the evening.

There are hundreds of breathing techniques: the Air Principle.  How about, right now, breathe in fully–high into your lungs–and let the air just drop out, freely, effortlessly, as though you were pouring water out of an upturned bucket.  No pushing out, just letting go.  A simple breathing exercise can instantly shift your energy, it can bring you energy!  Chanting by moonlight is another form of air purification, as is getting out of your bath and letting the air dry your body.

Here is a simple breathing exercise which Leonard Orr created for Americans who want to do everything in 30 seconds; it’s called 20 Connected Breaths:
1.    Take four short breaths, breathing in and out in such a manner that there are no gaps between breathing and letting your breath “drop” out.
2.    That is one set of breaths.
3.    Repeat this four times – four short breaths and one long breath.
4.    Don’t be afraid if you feel sensations in your body for it is just energy that you feel.  Do this daily and you’ll gain a lot of knowledge about your breathing.

Incorporating these simple practices into your life may give you more heaven than you now know, but you have to do it to know even that.  Try one regularly, then another and another and become the scientist of your own energy body.

Elemental purification cleanses, nourishes and balances. Do it and you will understand what is meant by “Disciplines of Pleasure.”  Enjoy!

(c) Susan Yashoda Deschenes

Your Life

A great friend of mine (Dennis Gaskill) recently shared his latest video with me.  It is a quick reflection on being yourself in a world that is constantly trying to tell you who to be.

You can find out more about Boogie Jack and his wonderful resources by going to his website:  http://BoogieJack.com

You can also listen to an interview I did with him several years ago where he describes his own success in the Internet world by going here….

BoogieJack Interview

…and if you liked the video, be sure to click on it and leave Dennis a comment at YouTube.