While many people have been busy creating their New Years resolutions, this year I find myself doing exactly the opposite. For the past few months I have been clearing out the physical stuff and clutter I've accumulated in my life and my home. I've taken books to the used bookstore, clothing and bedding to the local shelter, given my daughter all those things I've saved for her over the years, and thrown out things I just never got around to fixing or repairing.
Along the way, something interesting happened. As I began to get more room in my own life, I discovered a freshness to my thinking. And as I thought about this more, I began to wonder how much mental clutter I was carrying around.
Just as carrying around a backpack full of books takes a certain amount of energy, the same is true when we carry around old thoughts, beliefs, and ideas. Scientists have found that ideas have a kind of weight or pressure. And all thoughts require energy to maintain.
We are most creative, loving and responsive when we're in the moment. If we're thinking about what we should have said, what we haven't finished, or worrying about what we're supposed to do tomorrow, it's almost impossible to be available for what's happening in our lives right now. When we're worrying or upset about something that happened at work, we're too distracted to really be with our family or friends.
What was that dream or idea you had when you were in high school or college that you now realize you're never going to accomplish? How about that promise you've been making for the last five years that you never get around to starting? Or that great idea you started working on a few years ago that got stuck so you put it away "temporarily"? Or that belief you adopted as you looked at the world from 5 or 12 or 17 year-old eyes? Every one of these requires attention on some level of consciousness. And that means energy that's being taken away from the present. Maybe it's time to give ourselves a break and let go of some of those old ideas that we've been dragging around.
When I was a child I wanted to be a school teacher. Due to circumstances, I was unable to complete college, even though I kept at it for several years. At some point I realized I was probably not going to finish college, and therefore, would probably never be a school teacher, so I reluctantly decided to let that dream go. Imagine my surprise a couple of years later when I realized I had actually fulfilled my original intent: I had become a trainer for the State of California, and although I wasn't teaching children, I was actually getting paid a lot more to teach adults. Letting go of the original dream allowed me to follow the opportunities present in my life, and my love of sharing ideas resurfaced in a different (and much more satisfying) way.
Now I've never been one to write New Year's resolutions. I think it's valuable to review periodically where I am and what I'm up to, but for me that's an ongoing process. I especially like to do this around my birthday, when my personal "New Year" starts.
So this year, instead of adding more obligations to my life, I decided to purposely examine and let go of the "unfinished projects" and outdated beliefs cluttering up my mental attic. Just like a too-small sweater, some I can simply look at and know they no longer fit (like I'm never going to be a professional dancer). Some I need to examine a little more closely to see if they fit my current lifestyle, direction, needs and wants. And the ones in the trunk by the window? Who knows, they could be full of moth holes, or end up being the perfect compliment to what I'm doing right now. But first I need to examine them to find out.
What about the ones that we feel obligated to hold on to? Well, dust them off and take a good look. If they still "fit", then bring them back out into the light of day and use them. If they don't, and you're uncomfortable simply tossing them, ask yourself, what do I need to change about them, or what do they need in order to be complete? Even a commitment you made can be renegotiated, so ask yourself honestly what's the cost to continue dragging around something that's lost its usefulness? If it's a weight and an obligation, take care of it and free up that energy!!
The quickest way to energize yourself is by first giving away or releasing the old ideas that no longer serve you. This creates the room for you to expore new ideas and opportunities through classes, books, and people. Ask yourself if the thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and ideas you are carrying around energize you or feel like a burden. If they're a burden, get rid of them!! Don't even worry about changing them – toss them out and you'll have room for ones that support you better.
Remember, as one door closes, another opens. And in our busy lives, even the busiest of us only has room for a certain number of open doors at any one time.
© 1999 Katie Darden